I inadvertently listened to two, 20-somethings talk shop at a cafe. They both presented well, looked healthy, spoke of having good jobs, and seemed to talk about having plenty of friends. Point being, they seemed "successful" by standards most would call "normal" - actually even "above average" from what I gathered.
They also both reported taking heavy-hitting medication for “migraines”, and “panic attacks.” They both mentioned numerous other friends on the same regimen. And they talked about it like it was common, no big deal.
The other day, my son told me “more than half” of his class is on anti-depressants and they also talk about it openly like it's no big deal. Or more precisely, almost like they're proud of it. They’re in 7th grade.
I took anti-depressants in college and I was ashamed as hell. That's not a good thing, either - shame. But, I have to wonder what's going on if the need for meds are so widespread.
I am not against taking medication as needed. I am glad the shame and stigma is lessening. I am also totally concerned that the needs and dysfunctions I overheard, and my son sees among his peers, are “normal.”
The risk we take with medication is not what most people think. I don’t buy the "side effects" argument as a reason not to take meds. Our “state of being” is producing “chemicals” 24/7. Therefore, the “side effects” of not taking medication may be worse than those of taking what we need to reduce the symptoms. Harm reduction is a useful approach, not to mention compassion and mercy.
But the risk I am concerned about is that we mask and/or alleviate the symptoms without ever addressing the actual problem. The symptom is the WISDOM that calls the problem to our attention.
If we merely get rid of, numb, or medicate symptoms the problem can go underground, fester, and rear its head in more pervasive and destructive ways down the line. I say, train your brain, or remain the same. Unfortunately, staying “the same” isn't really an option as things left alone tend to get worse over time.
There are practical things we can do not just to cope with problems, but to end them altogether. I tell every one of my clients, "My job is to work myself out of a job" and most of them are shocked because we are now enculturated to think that therapy is a lifelong endeavor. Growth is a lifelong endeavor. But if you aren't outgrowing your need for therapy, I suggest you find another therapist who won't just sit there while you vent about your past and present woes.
I’d scream it from the rooftops if I thought anyone would listen. I'd scream louder if I thought anyone would DO the things anyone can do to break free.
But, please, please, please, if medication is called for, make sure you also investigate the lifestyle changes that can enable one to outgrow the problems altogether. These changes may be extensive and necessary for the whole family as one person's suffering is often an eruption of what's going on in the whole family system. Of course, this is not always the case and my saying so is not about blame. It is about a "do whatever it takes" mindset and recognizing that more than we probably know: we are in this together.
If medication is useful to give us the room and space we need to start making these changes, then we can either outgrow the need for the medication altogether or use it as a compliment to a much more enriched and empowered life. That would be skillful means. But if medicine is used to mask the symptoms or keep us stuck identified with our "diagnosis" in such a way that we can't see the possibilities beyond it, then it can become a crutch that keeps us crippled.
